Tsubasa no niwa
Early August, year 2042
Tsukino groaned as she woke up again. She had stuffed her head under her pillows to shut out the sun that had started creeping into her room in the early hours. She would’ve pulled the covers over her head if she hadn’t kicked those to the floor sometime in the night because of the heat. This apartment was horrible in the summer. The sun had now traveled far enough to be cooking her entire bed.
“This is unbearable...” she muttered as she gave up and rolled out of bed. Tsukino took one of her pillows with her as she left the bedroom and walked into the living room. She laid down on the floor below one of the windows, a spot the sun hadn’t touched yet and sighed at the comfort of the cool floorboards.
She didn’t stay there for long, she was hungry and wanted breakfast. Roaming through the fridge in her tiny kitchen, she found some yogurt and an apple. In the freezer compartment she found the ice-cube tray empty, with only herself to blame, she filled it up and put it back before sitting down at the table with her breakfast.
● ● ●
Tsubasa left the bathroom, toweling his hair dry as he went back to his room. He dropped the towel on the floor and got some clothes from the closet. He dressed, throwing a glance at the alarm clock, 7.30am.
The house was dead quiet, his dad had probably left for work already. Tsubasa had fallen asleep in front of the TV waiting for him to come home last night and vaguely remembered someone throwing a blanket over him when it was still dark. He suspected it would be the same today.
He headed to the kitchen and was surprised by the smell of… something burning? He hurried the last few steps, stopping in the doorway. His dad was standing there, by the stove, making breakfast. Or something that was supposed to resemble it. He recognized the smell now, burnt pancake batter.
“Ohayou Tsubasa” Kyouji said without looking up. Tsubasa couldn’t help but smirk, his dad always got this funny look on his face when concentrating, his whole face screwed up like he had eating something sour.
“Good morning… I think you should flip it, it smells like it’s burning” Tsubasa replied making his dad panic and flip the pancake over, as his son had stated, it was burnt.
“Oh for the love of- it shouldn’t be this hard to make breakfast” Kyouji grunted taking the pan to the sink.
“Wait! You don’t have to throw it away!” Tsubasa protested but the pancake was in the sink and his dad stood with his eyes closed, frying pan in hand, as if trying to decide if he should just throw the pan in there to. “Here let me-” when Tsubasa tried to take the frying pan Kyouji moved it out of his reach.
“No, I’ll do it! Sit down and let me make you breakfast!”
Tsubasa held up his hands and Kyouji went back to the stove. Tsubasa sighed as he had a look at the table where he was supposed to sit. Egg shells, flour and sugar. Everywhere. He started cleaning up as Kyouji swore over another burnt pancake.
“Maybe you should lower the heat?” he suggested, his dad didn’t reply but Tsubasa could see him turning down the heat.
“Did you even go to sleep last night? You came home late” he continued as he wiped down the table.
“I slept on the sofa” Kyouji mumbled, flipping the new pancake over.
“I’ll set the table.”
“Don’t bother, I have to leave for work soon.”
Tsubasa paused at the cupboard. “Fine” he muttered, leaving to fetch the newspaper instead. He stopped at the potted plants by the gate to pull some weeds. He wished his dad wouldn’t work so much. Tsubasa felt like he had seen him more often when they still lived in Nomi. Komatsu was supposed to be different, he had promised. Promises were stupid.
He heard the door open and looked up, his dad was on his way out already.
“I’ll be home for dinner tonight, promise” Kyouji said when he saw the look on Tsubasa face.
“Don’t promise” Tsubasa muttered as he walked past him, throwing the newspaper on the dresser in the hallway.
“I worked late yesterday so I can leave early today, I’ll make dinner. I promise!” Kyouji clarified before hurrying out the gate. Letting out another sigh Tsubasa closed the door and headed back into the kitchen where a plate full of pancakes had been left for him on the table. As he sat down, he noticed his father had drawn a heart with jam and whipped cream on top. It was messy and sort of lopsided, but it made him smile.
After eating and cleaning up the remains of his dad’s breakfast adventure Tsubasa headed out to tend the garden. With this heat he had to make sure his plants didn’t dry up.
He went to the greenhouse first, pruning and watering the plants in there before rolling out the garden hose to water the trees as well. He soaked them top to bottom and played with the water, trying to create rainbows. After the trees were taken care of, he headed to the far end of the garden to care for eh vegetables and berries.
On his knees in the dirt, removing weeds, Tsubasa hummed along to the radio he had left sitting on the engawa veranda. He had opened all the sliding doors to the backyard to let in some fresh air, their house got stuffy quick. He heard the distant sound of the front gate opening, thinking it might be Uta stopping by before work, he just continued working. But a moment later the doorbell rang and he got up to see who it was, he tossed his gloves on the ground.
“In the backyard!” He called out as he hurried towards the front. Tsukino poked her head past the corner of the house.
“Tsu-Tsukino” Tsubasa stuttered out not at all ready to see his classmate.
“Good morning!” she said as she walked over to him. She had a light summer dress and sandals.
“What are you doing here?” Tsubasa asked still stunned. Surprise visits were not his thing, not even when he lived in Nomi had that happened, friends had always called or texted ahead.
“Well that’s a fine hello.” Tsukino laughed. “I thought I’d stop by and see what you were up to, I hope that was okay?”
“Yeah sure, sorry… you caught me a bit off guard…” he said scratching the back of his neck. He watched Tsukino as she walked past him, looking around the garden.
“I’ll make sure to text you next time.” Tsukino said softly, still looking around. “I know you’ve said you had a garden, but this is huge” she turned to Tsubasa again “You maintain all this by yourself?”
“Sure” Tsubasa answered and walked back down the path to the corner he had been weeding earlier.
“That’s amazing” Tsukino exclaimed making Tsubasa blush.
“Thanks, it’s not too hard though. Everything doesn’t bloom or need harvesting at once, so I have plenty of time to work with it” Tsubasa explained as Tsukino followed him. He got down on the ground again and she took seat on the wooden floor next to the radio. “What made you come here today?” Tsubasa asked as he put his gloves back on and started pulling weeds again.
“I was bored. I was going to the convenient store for some ice-cream but as I passed your house, I figured I could check in. I parked my bike in the front yard, I hope that was okay?” Tsukino said, she was swinging her legs back and forth.
“Yeah sure, do you still want ice-cream? We can make us some” Tsubasa said looking up to see Tsukino nodding wildly.
“Oh yes please, I’d love that” she said eagerly, making Tsubasa laugh.
“What flavor?” he asked as he picked a smaller basket from a storage cabinet under the engawa.
“Oh uhh… I don’t know, suggestions?” Tsukino asked watching him has he walked between the rows of small berry plants.
“The strawberries are good, I have raspberries and blackberries to” he started, putting up one finger for each berry he mentioned, “or would you like something like plum or peach?” he asked.
“Strawberry sounds good” Tsukino said not sure what to pick. She got up and walked over to Tsubasa where he sat, picking strawberries from a few plants. “Did the strawberry plant I got for my birthday come from this garden?” she asked, crouching down next to him.
“Kind of, this garden didn’t have strawberries so I bought a bunch and planted back in spring” Tsubasa answered Tsukino just nodded, she had been to plant nurseries before but seeing someone’s home garden was something else.
When he was done, they headed inside. Tsukino recognized the living room as they passed through it, she had seen it from the hallway when picking up Tsubasa for the beach trip last week.
“Doesn’t it take time to make ice-cream, I mean it has to freeze right?” She asked when they got to the kitchen.
“We have one of those freezer mixers that makes instant ice-cream” Tsubasa said gesturing for Tsukino to sit down at the table.
“Oh! I’ve seen those on TV, they seem really convenient to have, at least in the summer” Tsukino said as Tsubasa cleaned and prepared the berries. “What have you been up to lately?” she asked.
“Not much, gardening mostly. It’s been so hot lately I’m afraid my plants will die” Tsubasa said dropping diced strawberries in the mixer, Tsukino just nodded agreeing. “Other than that I’ve just been watching TV, a lot of TV. It makes the time pass” Tsubasa continued as he watched the mixer do its magic.
“Are you waiting for something?” Tsukino asked. The ice-cream was done and Tsubasa handed her a bowl before sitting down with his own.
“I don’t know, for dad to come home or something” Tsubasa shrugging.
“Does he work a lot?” Tsukino continued as she dug her spoon into the ice-cream, it was so soft.
“He likes working overtime I guess… and because of the traveling distance from here to the office he often stays in a hotel to save on the commute” Tsubasa mumbled hoping the little lie would pass, long commutes wasn’t really the reason his dad never came home.
“Ah I see” Tsukino just said putting a spoon full of the ice-cream in her mouth. “Oh my god. Tsubasa this ice-cream is amazing!” she cried making Tsubasa laugh.
“It’s just ice-cream.”
“Just ice-cream, this is not just ice-cream it is heaven!” Tsukino said pouting. “Best ice-cream I’ve ever had” she muttered going back to eating.
“D-don’t get angry, sorry!” Tsubasa apologized quickly, he worried he’d offended her.
“I’m kidding!” Tsukino hurried to reassure him. They finished eating and Tsubasa took the bowls to the sink to wash them. He told Tsukino she could have a look around the house if she wanted to, he didn’t want her to get bored.
Tsukino stepped into the living room again having a look around, furniture was neatly placed in groups, she noticed the blankets and pillows in the armchair and sofa. “Tsubasa, it’s not good for your back to sleep on the sofa!” she called out.
“I said you could have a look around, not evaluate my way of living!” Tsubasa called back making Tsukino chuckle.
She walked around the house, it was semi traditional with the engawa walkways and tatami mat flooring in most rooms. The living room and kitchen seemed to have been renovated with a more modern touch though.
When she was done touring, she peeked into the small room next to the living room. One of the doors stood ajar and she slid it open further, this room also had tatami mats. It looked like a study with shelves of books a couple of comfy looking chairs and reading lights. In the corner there was a butsudan, its doors stood open like they should and below the Buddha inside the cabinet there was a photo.
Tsukino decided to pay her respects and walked in, kneeling on the cushion in front of the small cabinet. She had to do a double-take when she saw the photo, at first it looked like Tsubasa but on second glance she saw it was a woman, they looked so similar.
She put her hands together and closed her eyes in a silent prayer. She sat there till she heard Tsubasa come into the room.
“Sorry, I invited myself.” She said as he sat down.
“That’s okay, I’m sure she appreciates the visit” Tsubasa told her as he did a small prayer himself.
“Who is it?”
“Kanna, my mom.”
Tsukino had thought so. He had said he looked like his mom. She had really hoped it wasn’t though.
“I’m sorry…” she mumbled. What was she supposed to say? What do you say to someone who didn’t have a mom?
Tsubasa cracked a smile, sheepish but honest.
“Don’t be sorry. It was a really long time ago, we’re fine!” Tsubasa told her, trying to put her at ease. Then he paused. “Can I explain something I said earlier… in the kitchen?” he said it quietly and Tsukino responded the same way.
“Sure…”
“So… about dad working overtime and not coming home… it’s really because I look like mom and he can’t deal with it… won’t deal with it.” Tsubasa threw a glance at Tsukino, she looked so lost. “sorry, now I just made it awkward… sorry…”
“N-no, it’s fine. I just don’t know what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just, I don’t like lying and I would’ve thought about it later…but what do we do next? I’m done with the garden.” Tsubasa felt like he had explained enough and wanted to move on.
“We could go to my place?” Tsukino suggested. “Maybe you could help me replant that strawberry plant you gave me? I bought stuff for it but I’m afraid I’ll hurt it if I do it by myself.”
“That would be fun! Just let me close up first” he said and got on his feet right away.
Tsukino sat for a minute, looking at Kanna’s photo. She thought she should appreciate her family more. She didn’t tell them she loved them often enough.
Tsubasa locked up the house and they walked up the hill towards Tsukino’s apartment building. Tsukino was leading her bike by her side and had started humming on a song. Tsubasa recognized it but couldn’t quite place it.
“What song is that?”
“Huh? Oh… Cherry Bomb, by Andromeda Effect” Tsukino told him over her shoulder.
“That’s the one” Tsubasa confirmed for himself, it was on the radio constantly.
“You listen to them?” she asked slowing down so they could walk side by side.
“Yeah, I really liked the Hummingbird album from last year” Tsubasa answered and Tsukino nodded in agreement.
“I like a lot of artists, but Andromeda Effect music is amazing, I have all of their albums, do you have an artist like that?” Tsukino asked and Tsubasa tilted his head to the side thinking about it.
“I guess io would be the one” he said after a while.
“She’s Korean right?”
“Yeah, but I listen to both her Japanese and Korean music, her voice is amazing” Tsubasa said, thinking about the rows of her albums he had stacked in a bookcase in his room. “Hey, isn’t Andromeda Effect’s new single released soon?” he added remembering seeing it on social media.
“Yeah, tomorrow actually.”
“Oh! Wanna go into town together and pick up the physical release?”
“Tsubasa~ are you asking me out on a date?” Tsukino grinned.
“What?! No! I mean- I was just wondering- You said they were your favorite- and I was going anyway… so I thought…” when Tsukino started laughing Tsubasa stopped his rambling, his face was hot.
“I was joking, of course I’ll go with you, I haven’t been on a date in a while” she said smiling.
“It’s not-” Tsubasa gave up with a huff. “I wish you wouldn’t do that” he mumbled, still blushing and his heart racing.
They idly chatted about their favorite artists for the rest of the walk. Tsubasa hadn’t really looked at the apartment building that day Uta dropped her off but now as they entered the parking lot he felt like a spoiled brat because the first thing he thought was that it was rundown and small.
“Mine’s the first one up the stairs” Tsukino said as she parked and chained her bike to one of the support poles of the building. Then she headed up the stairs, which seemed to give off a metallic creaking in protest every step she took. Tsubasa followed her and watched as she took a small keychain from her pocket and unlocked the door.
“No one home?” he asked as he followed her inside.
“Oh, no. My family doesn’t live here, it’s just me. I moved out here to be closer to school, my family lives in the city” Tsukino said and hung the keys on one of the hooks next to the door. She then set out a pair of slippers for Tsubasa. “Put these on, I haven’t vacuumed in a while” she said before stepping into her own pair. It was a small apartment. Joined kitchen and living room, the small hallway had two doors and the living room also had two doors, there was also a balcony. It all had a modern minimalistic style to it.
It was dark in the apartment, Tsukino had probably covered the windows to keep her home as cold as possible and Tsubasa’s eyes still hadn’t quite adjusted to the dim lighting.
“Looking for something?” Tsukino asked when she saw Tsubasa scanning her apartment.
“Just looking…” Tsubasa told her and walked over. She was pouring mineral water into two glasses. It was reaching lunch time and the sun was still scorching hot outside.
“Here” she said handing one of the glasses off to him.
“Thanks” he quietly replied taking the glass. He emptied the glass in one sweep, it wasn’t that far between their houses but in this heat the walk had made him thirsty. When he set his glass down Tsukino immediately refilled it. She was sipping on her own glass staring off at something far away.
“Can I see the strawberry plant?” Tsubasa asked after a moment of silent.
“Sure!” she replied quickly and headed past him to the balcony. “Since I always have the drapes closed, I figured I’d put it on the balcony so it could get all the sunlight it needs” she said.
“That’s good” Tsubasa agreed picking his glass up off the sink before following her.
When Tsukino opened the balcony door the hot humid summer air flooded into the apartment. It was a small balcony with room for three, maybe four, people to stand next to each other on it. “I put it here on the floor” she continued and walked outside pointing with her free hand, Tsubasa followed her and hung on the door frame as he looked at the monstrosity of a strawberry plant growing on the floor. He could barely believe this was the plant he had given her back in April.
“It’s huge!” he exclaimed and crouched down to have a closer look. It looked nothing like the ones in his garden.
“I know, is this normal? That’s why I thought I needed to replant it” Tsukino said sipping her water. Tsubasa just sat nodding as he looked over the plant. It was in really good condition, no pests or damage at all.
“Why don’t we transplant it now? I’ll show you how to do it” Tsubasa said looking up at her.
“Transplant?” Tsukino asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, that’s what it’s called, when you move a plant to a new pot” he answered.
“Ah, let me get the things then” Tsukino said going back inside. She set her glass on the small table in the living room as she passed by it heading into the hallway. She opened the closet and pulled out the bag of fertilizer and the pot. She also grabbed some old newspapers that laid stacked there to make cleaning up easier. She hurried back out to the balcony where Tsubasa was waiting. She walked around him and sat down so that she was facing him, putting the things down.
Tsubasa lifted the potted plant off the ground as she laid out the newspapers.
“We’re gonna need water to” he said, Tsukino just nodded grabbing the small watering can that stood behind the door and ran to the kitchen to fill it with water. She liked this. She had been so worried Tsubasa would be all gloomy and sad after telling her about his mom, and his dad but he seemed okay. She was never sure what to do for her friends when they were upset, she always felt so paralyzed, unsure of what to say or do, afraid to do something wrong and make it worse. She liked hanging out with Tsubasa it would’ve been awful to end up all awkward.
She took the now full watering can out of the sink and went back to Tsubasa.
She watched as he carefully removed her strawberry plant from the pot. He had offered to let her do it but she was afraid to damage it. While Tsubasa freed the plant from its smaller housing Tsukino filled the bigger pot with some fertilizer. She watched as Tsubasa effortlessly removed dirt from around the roots before setting the plant into the bigger pot.
“You can add more fertilizer now, just pour it in lightly, don’t pack it” he said gathering up the dirt that had ended up outside the newspapers even though he had been careful. Tsukino did as told, she thought the strawberry plant looked much better in the bigger pot. When they were done transplanting the plant they cleaned up. Tsukino threw out the newspapers while Tsubasa watered the strawberry plant, then they both washed their hands in the kitchen sink.
Tsukino poured new mineral water in their glasses and brought them over to where Tsubasa was sitting on the floor under the window in the living room area.
“Here you go!”
“Thanks” Tsubasa took the glass and set it on the floor by his feet.
Tsukino crouched down next to him and leaned back against the wall. They were silent. Tsukino liked being silent with Tsubasa, it never felt odd to just sit around and do nothing with him. In school with her other classmates and friends it felt like they always had to talk to keep a good atmosphere but with Tsubasa she could just sit around.
Tsubasa phone started ringing, a cheerful tone that he answered and got up, taking a few steps away.
“Hello~”
Tsukino absently watched him as he leaned on the sofa, her eyes drifted to the balcony where the door still stood open, the concrete floor was still wet from the excessive amount of water Tsubasa had poured over the new pot, but apparently it was necessary. In this heat it would dry up in no time.
“… no I’m over at Tsukino’s… You forgot your keys? What about the spare in the mailbox?” Tsubasa looked at Tsukino as he listened to his sister, she looked small sitting on the floor like that, with her knees pulled up.
“Of course he would forget to put it back… no you don’t have to come up here I’ll just go home, dad actually promised to be home with dinner so maybe you could stay to?” Tsubasa was still looking at Tsukino when she looked up at him, she smiled. Tsubasa smiled back, shrugging his shoulders at his irresponsible family. Tsukino got on her feet as Tsubasa ended his call with his sister.
“So… I have to go home. Apparently, my family can’t get into their own house” he said with a grin. “About tomorrow, when would be a good time to meet up?” he then asked.
“I thought I could swing by your place around ten-ish? Is that okay, I’ll make sure to text ahead?” Tsukino said and Tsubasa just nodded.
“Sounds good!” Tsubasa said, Tsukino waved him off at the door.
He took the stairs down two steps at a time, he was in a good mood. The weather was much milder, a slight wind was rusting the leaves in the trees. He dared think this was, so far, the best summer he’d ever had. He had made lots of new friends, he had learned how to swim, his dad was, at least today, attempting to keep a promise and Tsubasa liked Tsukino a whole lot. She was great.
Upon realizing his last thought he froze in his steps.
How was he supposed to tell Tsukino that?